Quiet Friday

Well, things around here have been pretty quiet today.  I got both kids off to school this morning.  It's been forever since I've had the house, and an actual day, to myself !   Since I am no longer among the "gainfully employed," I spent most of the day on the Internet, job searching.  Actually, my previous job wasn't what I would consider "gainful,"  at least not in terms of money.  However, it was helpful in getting me back into the field of optics, which is the type of work that I did for 13 years before I got married.

 I'm not sure that I still have the same passion for optical that I used to have, but I think it's my best shot at making a decent wage.  I never really planned on my most recent job being a keeper,  I always felt that it would be more of a transitional stepping stone;  A chance to learn about new products, get a handle on working with insurance, and computers, and all of the new things that had happened in optics while I was away, raising my kids. I started in March, and by July, it became obvious that the company that I had chosen to work for had serious management issues, and I began thinking about looking for another job.  I should have acted then, but things in my personal life took a turn for the worse, and you know,  I got distracted. 

Aside from trying to figure out how to deal with all the day to day issues of life on my own;  My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and she spent the next couple of months in and out of the hospital. Then, on October 5th,  I was hospitalized for a 13mm kidney stone that had blocked my left kidney and resulted in a raging infection.  When I returned to work, a couple of weeks ago, I was discharged for excessive absences.  Since I was in the hospital for two days, followed by a Lithotripsy procedure, during my absences, I sort of think that getting fired is total bullshit.  (and since I can provide documentation, I tend to think that unemployment might feel the same way.)  Anyway, it still leaves me looking for a job during the one time of the year when optical sales tend to be down.  Kind of sucks, but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. 

When something this screwed up happens, I want to believe that it's God telling me that I need to move forward,  because He has other plans for me.  I'm completely open to that.  I just hate the waiting, and trying to figure out what direction that God wants me to move in.  At this point, I'd be okay with another optical job,  but I have to have a livable wage, and I'm completely done with working retail hours.  Of course. . . there is still that little voice inside me that says: I really want to do something more creative; a job using my art skills is something that I could be passionate about.  And I so desperately want to feel passionate about something.  But you know, that's not really the way life works - it should be - but it isn't.